Michelle Vinokur
Challenges, each one brings its questions, its hope, its choices. Some people choose to opt out, others accept and fail. But then there are those who through perseverance make it through not only intact but stronger.
In 2003, at the age of 22, during the week of writing my final teaching exams I had my first multiple sclerosis relapse. Multiple sclerosis, otherwise known as M.S, is a nerve disorder caused by destruction of the insulating layer surrounding neurons in the brain and spinal cord. This insulation, called myelin, helps electrical signals pass quickly and smoothly between the brain and the rest of the body. When the myelin is destroyed, nerve messages are sent more slowly and less efficiently.
Over time scar tissue forms around the damaged myelin called plaques. These plaques also reduce the neurons ability to function, which therefore further disrupts the nerve communication. The symptoms of MS occur when the brain and spinal cord nerves no longer communicate properly with other parts of the body. MS causes a wide variety of symptoms and can affect vision, balance, strength, sensation, coordination, and bodily functions.
It is very important to treat a relapse as soon as possible. The treatment is a course of cortisone drips over a period of five days together with oral cortisone to wean off the drips. This treatment hopefully results in the body returning to its original state or a weaker version but still functional. However if one does not respond to the treatment of cortisone then one needs to daven hard and wait for a miracle, the miracle being the remyelination of the myelin sheath. Otherwise one needs to accept ones fate.
My challenge during my first relapse, which represented symptoms of, blurred vision and numbness of my arms and legs, was to be treated and at the same time write my final teaching examinations. I succeed in both. I graduated with distinction and overcame my relapse with having my body back to its original level of function.
From 2004 up until 2007 I have had many relapses. These relapses affected my vision, movement in my arms and legs, function of my bladder, swallowing and ability to talk. I was constantly in and out of hospital. Through these challenges I ensured that I continued to fulfill my duties and maintain a high standard in all that I did especially teaching at school, at children’s services and tutoring.
At end of 2007 I had a major relapse that affected my ability to walk. I was given the cortisone treatment but unfortunately did not respond to the treatment as I usually did. A more drastic measure was taken and a decision was made to begin chemotherapy together with continuing to take the interferon to try and control the damage to my myelin sheath and prevent the progression of the disease. The principal of Minnie Bersohn, Mandi Defries, was very supportive and stood by my decision to begin the therapy and at the same time allowed me to continue teach a class. My challenge was to take the chemotherapy treatment and still be functional in all that I did. I was able to achieve this challenge but the greatest achievement was attending my brothers wedding and walking down the aisle.
The biggest challenge arrived on Sunday 24 August 2008. This was the day that I walked into the Sunninghill hospital at 2:00 in the afternoon and by 6:00 my legs were failing me. I was asked to walk along a line but instead I landed on the floor. I didn’t realize the extent of damage that had taken place within my body until the next day when I tried to walk to the toilet and I couldn’t, instead I had to crawl otherwise I was not going to reach it. I knew not to give up. The following day the matron of the hospital ordered a wheelchair to be placed by my bed. I looked at this wheelchair and I thought to myself I could either allow the disease to get the better of me and own me or I take the attitude that I have M.S. and I am going to learn all of life’s lessons through this disease. I decided to take the positive attitude. It was the best decision as I have learnt a fortune through this disease.
I have learnt to trust people by allowing them in to my life. Through achieving this goal and allowing people in and sharing my story with them they have assisted me both on a physical and spiritual level. I am not going to be able to mention all these wonderful people’s names as it will take too long but you all know who you are. Thank you is not enough. You have changed my life and my families life and you have eased this challenge by allowing us to see spiritually the brighter side to life and physically that there are ways to make a house more adaptable to a wheelchair.
Another lesson that I have learnt is that I have the ability to educate children about disabilities. This vision came clear by two fathers whose children were in my class. Eldon and Grant you both gave me the strength and soul purpose to get through the biggest obstacle by making me aware that I have potential beyond this disease to achieve anything I set my mind to achieve. You also made me realize that I have the capabilities of changing the vision and perception of people in the world about disabilities by making people realize that everyone is special and everyone has the strength to overcome any obstacle that one is faced with.
Eldon and Grant have formulated this NGO, Chazak, on my behalf that aims to raise funds in order to educate children with disabilities. If one wishes to contribute click here.
I have also learnt that Hashem gives everyone hurdles in order for a person to be shaped. It is very important how one faces ones hurdles. The hurdles can either stop one from living their life or the hurdle can make a person realize their potential. I realized that I can teach in a wheelchair and my aim is to continue to teach, as that is my life’s ambition. My goal is to teach whether it is standing or sitting because I am capable to do so and I have the right to achieve this goal.
I have also learnt that nothing is in one’s control. Hashem controls everything and every soul has a mission and purpose. It is up to every person to realize his or her soul’s purpose. My walking was taken away for me so that I could have the opportunity to realize my souls mission.
I could have taken the attitude of being cross and angry that I couldn’t walk but I chose the attitude of appreciation as Hashem gave me the opportunity to see beyond my limitations. I was able to see the treasure boxes in my life that needed to be opened and explored. I would have never seen these treasure boxes if I was still walking. I would like to thank Rabbi Rose, Dale Cohen and my family: my mom, sister Lisa, Brother David, Sister-in-law Tami, my late aunt Susan, my late Zeider Hymie and Sylvia for giving me the courage in opening up these treasure boxes. These treasure boxes will be revealed during this year as they are projects that are still in progress.
If one had to ask me what was the hardest aspect of this challenge I would have to say the rehabilitation. I have worked very hard but I couldn’t have done it without the support, help, guidance and patience of Dr Stacey Kretzmer, Dr Shlomo Levine, Nannette Page Jessica Douglas, Peter Mechanic and most importantly my family. Mommy, Lisa, David and Tami you have been my rock, my security and my stability throughout this challenge I would have never been able to jump over this hurdle as high as I have without you. Words cannot express my appreciation. My doctors, therapists and most importantly Hashem have made miracles happen.
